Let's Swin into the Sky (+revised)

Image Critiques
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Revised Version

Revision 1 (latest)

Revised version
Revised version1800×1200 1.21 MB

What changed: I took Lon’s suggestion and did a bit more dehaze, which darkened the blacks and lightened the highlights. I also did a vertical flip, and it didn’t feel awkward this time. I think initially I tried a rotation, which sent the fish in a different direction than the vertical flip. I’m liking this better! Still open to more feedback.

Added after receiving feedback from the community.

Original Version

IMG5DMarkIV_0765NPN3MB-NPN3Meg-2.jpg
IMG5DMarkIV_0765NPN3MB-NPN3Meg-2.jpg1800×1200 1.13 MB

Critique Style Requested: In-depth

The photographer has shared comprehensive information about their intent and creative vision for this image. Please examine the details and offer feedback on how they can most effectively realize their vision.

Self Critique

I like the concept I had here, but I’m not sure I pulled it off, or that it will translate. You know how you get an idea while shooting, and others are like, " I don’t see that at all"? This might be one of those images.

I could do better with the black and white conversion generally, and perhaps do something to improved the balance between the clarity of the two koi and the sky reflection. I had a polarizer, but it was smaller than the lens diameter, so I couldn’t rotate well, I had to crop out the vignette.

Creative direction

In this image, I was struck by how the reflection of the trees made the foreground look like sky: not only is it “above” the trees but the clouds in the reflections felt like something to play with.

After shooting I flipped the image to see if it would better render the concept of fish swimming off into the sky (i.e. flying away), but I don’t think it improved the image, just made it look more awkward.

In this image, I want the emotions to be a little off-kilter, create a sense of mysterious, but also a chuckle that these two koi are swimming off into the clouds together.

Specific Feedback

I am always open to all sorts of feedback, including “what were you thinking” and “go back and start over.” In particular, I’m curious about the following:

  1. Does this image engage you?
  2. Does the sky feel like sky to you, or is this just fish in a pond?
  3. I seem to be shooting captive koi in a pond at a Japanese Garden lately. Should I be tagging any of these things non-nature? Or is it “natural enough.” It occurred to me that this is not really wildlife, but it is critters, so I went with that tag. Always open to correction on how I interpret the categories.

Especially could use help with the following:

  1. Would a crop or rotation help? Does it read better for you with a 180 rotation?
  2. Are there LR tools you think would bring out the fish without losing the sky?

Technical Details

Canon 5DIV with 24-105mm at 24mm but cropped to about 75% of the frame
ISO 320, f/9, 1/60sec
LR black and white conversion (could do better there or SilverEfex Pro)

Description

While I was using long exposures to shoot swimming koi at the Japanese Garden, I decided the reflections were so prominent, and my polarizer so useless, and people so numerous, that I might as well try something different. I liked the reflected fir trees and ferns, and the clouds were just patchy enough, so I tried to get the fish swimming into the sky. When I got home, I was pleasantly surprised at the effect, but I always need a second opinion on things like this.

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Marylynne,

Ahh, now we see those fun fish! :grin: I think this is very creative and I can feel from your description that everything that was going on kinda led you in this direction. Kudos for embracing it all.

My first thought without really paying attention to your comments, but with just the title and the image, my thought was that the sky should be more literal and be on top. I think it makes more sense with the title that the fish are “swimming into the sky” - so to speak. I can understand that flipping it being awkward to you, the photographer who was there and captured this. I get it. But as an observer, it makes more sense. At least to me.

Minor adjustments, but I did drop the blacks a little, increased the overall contrast. As to your question on “bringing out the fish without losing the sky”? You say you use LR, which is the same processing engine as Adobe Camera Raw (I personally have never wanted to use LR simply because of all the cataloging that goes on… anyway..) But back to your question, you can simply play with the highlights, whites and exposure sliders, as well as contrast, dehaze and others. I believe you can do this in LR as well by holding down the “Alt” or “Option” key while moving the slider to make sure the changes don’t blow out highlights, etc.

This is well seen and nicely captured. I was glad to see the Koi a little better represented! :smiley:

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The original poster added a revised version of their image.

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Marylynne: My first impression when viewing the thumbnail was definitely meh but when I opened up the full size image and could clearly see the fish I perked right up. I like the flipped version since it does correlate with the title as @Lon_Overacker mentioned. Going B&W (not my strength) contributes to the mystery a bit that wouldn’t be as prominent if it was in color. Nicely conceived and even better executed. >=))>

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Thanks Lon and Bill. I might go a little further with the dehaze and contrast. It was a fun idea to play with, and something I’ll look for when I’m there again.

ML