The photographer is looking for thoughtful feedback on the image as a whole, especially around the areas noted below.
Feedback Focus: Artistic / Expressive
About This Image
I made my first trip to the Portland Japanese Garden of the season. My October and November schedule is filling up, so I’m not sure whether I will be able to make it there for peak color, which last year was around Halloween. Once peak color hits, the place can be very crowded, and there is actually a line to photograph “The Tree.” If you are a member, you can go for member/photographer only hours, which helps only a little.
This is not “The Tree.” This is the flat garden, which I love, and which can be full of leaf “litter” once autumn color really begins to progress. This is an incredibly difficult scene for me to shoot: I feel like I gotta get all the rings in the sand, I don’t like that the grass patch points toward the back when the back is not especially colorful as on this particular day, and it’s a hard scene to get fully in the frame without odd angles. Definitely a wabi sabi experience every time I try. My best effort ever was during cherry blossom season in 2005 pointing a completely different direction and using a 3mp Nikon Coolpix.
Feedback Requested
I’m mostly sharing to participate in the Weekly Challenge, but I’m always open to any feedback y’all can offer. In particular, with this image, I’m wondering the following:
Should I crop to remove the diagonal sand lines in the lower right corner?
Should I do some perspective distortion treatment? I did lens correction and a bit of distortion removal, but it still looks wonky to me. Ironically though, the flat garden is not totally flat.
Too much foreground entirely?
Thanks as always for any time you can spare to offer feedback. I appreciate it,
1. Yes I would remove the lrc. I would crop from the right side.Either that or clone them out. I tried cropping from the bottom for a more pano aspect, but it cut into the nice circular sand patterns too much
2.Yes, I would still do some more perspective correction, especially on the left top part.
3.No, I don’t think there’s too much fg.
Funny, you talk about leaf “litter.” That’s the first thing I thought about upon opening your image. I was wondering what this would like like with a smattering of colorful autumn leaves. Don’t know if it would improve upon your beautiful image.
How about this crop for a more abstract look. I’m doing this from an iPhone so not very accurate. This deemphasizes the objects and makes it about shapes and textures and their arrangement.
Btw I was there 10 days earlier and the harsh sunlight made it impossible. Not to mention the crowds.
@Igor_Doncov had a really cool crop idea and I couldn’t resist taking it a little further (might have been his intention since he said he did his on a phone). To me this puts the attention on the central feature and takes my eye right back to the statue. Of course, it may be not even close to the image you were thinking about.
Thanks @Michael_Lowe@Dennis_Plank and @Igor_Doncov . All of these suggestions are promising! I was trying to highlight the changing foliage color, but I don’t think my composition did that. The dominant gourd shaped patch of dying grass in the center becomes the focus.
I like the abstract suggestions, but I’ve never really liked the gourd shaped patch of grass, even when it’s flourishing. I have other frames that might work better, and I think my instinct to capture it all is probably misguided. Where is the real interest? I’ll have to sit there I bit next time I visit.
Meanwhile, I’ve posted a revision, severely cropped in the opposite direction y’all suggested, but I don’t think I could have imagined it without your input. Muchas gracias.
Marylynne, I really like the original, especially the raking lines around that interesting island of green with it’s double bulb. That “item” is balanced well with the bush on the right with it’s top turning red. I would suggest some cloning in the upper left to remove those bright angled branches. The perspectives all look fine to me.
