What changed: I cropped a little tighter and reduced the highlights a tish. Initially, I wanted this image to be about the rim lighting on the tree, the impermanence of that, but I think my idea was destined to send a mixed message (fleeting light on an old growth fir tree).
Added after receiving feedback from the community.
The photographer is looking for thoughtful feedback on the image as a whole, especially around the areas noted below.
Feedback Focus: Artistic / Expressive
About This Image
This is one of several photographs I made at the Portland Japanese Garden last month while exploring the idea of shooting the garden with an intentionally Japanese aesthetic in mind. One of the things I’ve realized and thought about while processing the images and sharing them here is how much nature photography in general shares some of the values and elements of Japanese aesthetics: asymmetry, wabi-sabi, ma, and in this case, shogyo mujo (or the impermanence of all things).
So, my question is less about whether this projects a Japanese vibe and more about whether it communicates a concept.
Feedback Requested
As always, I’m open to any and all feedback. In this case, I’m wondering the following:
Does this communicate both impermanence and beauty? That’s one of the major elements of shogyo mujo.
Does the rim lighting on the fir tree look okay? I’m not usually adept at that kind of thing.
Is it sharp enough throughout the frame? I don’t really have a stacking process, so this is a single image, shot at a distance, focal length, and aperture to maximize sharpness front to back. Not sure I pulled it off, and pixel peeping is a rabbit hole that always leaves me dissatisfied.
Thanks for offering suggestions, interpretations, feedback. I always appreciate the gift of you time and attention to my work.
ML
Technical Details
Canon 5DIV with 24-105mm at 105mm
ISO 200, f/20, 1sec
Cropped, some removal of gravel path in the background
Marylynne, My first impression of this image was “it’s so PNW”, and I mean that as a compliment because that’s where I call home. On further inspection it took on a more Japanese feel with your treatment of the rim light and the Japanese maple.
This doesn’t communicate impermanence to me as the tree is so beautiful and healthy, but it does convey beauty.
I love the rim light, the tree feels backlit and it fits with the light along the edge of the Japanese Maple tree.
I think the photo reads sharp, and I don’t care to pixel peep. The tree and the vegetation at the front of the image are the focal point and it’s sharp enough for my old eyes.
When I was recently in Lapland at Abisco Nation Park in Sweden, I felt like the whole park was like being in a Japanese garden, from the moss and lichen ground cover to the black granite canyon. Your image has inspired me to go back through those images and spend more time with them. Thank you!
It’s interesting how our perceptions can be so difference, Marylynne. With that beautiful tree trunk more or less dominating the image, I don’t get a feeling of impermanence at all. I do like the contrast of the relative permanence of that trunk juxtaposed with the delicate maple leaves nearing their time to fall and hopefully nourish the ground (but probably to be raked up, unfortunately).
I like this scene, but I think it might be better photographed under different light as the rim lighting and swathe of really bright light on the maple leaves tend to grab my attention far more than I like. While the rim lighting on the trunk could be removed, the light on the maple leaves would probably be significantly more difficult to handle (at least for my skill level).
I had to read up about shogyo mujo. I think that in this image you meant to show it by contrasting the vigorous green plant on the left with the maple on the right that’s about to lose its leaves. Is that right? I got this quote from google search on the subject.
In Japanese culture, shogyo mujo is not viewed with pure despair, but rather as a prompt to let go of unhealthy attachments and deeply appreciate the present moment (similar to mono no aware, the bittersweet beauty of passing things).
I think this works quite well for your intention. The light is harsh but it’s not that much of a distraction except for a couple of places I noted. The absence of sharpness behind the tree is unimportant and even beneficial. If the bright outline of the tree can’t be burned out I would clone it out entirely because it’s pure white.
Thanks @Igor_Doncov@Dennis_Plank and @alice. This is very helpful feedback. I was so focused on the impermanence of the light itself, that I wasn’t thinking about the solidity and eternal strength of that fir tree!
I don’t think my intention came through. I actually like the rim light IF it works as that was the passing moment of beauty. The light itself was a brief moment of synchronicity, and then it passed.
It sounds like it’s a little blown though? I don’t want to eliminate it as that light was the key to my shogyo mujo impression.But I can play with it if it’s too bright, blown, etc.
Igor: Yes, the concept is that everything changes and being in the present moment gives us gratitude in both sadness and joy in that cycle of impermanence and renewal.
Thanks again for this feedback. I’ll tinker with it a d post a revision when I get back from Yosemite.
Marylynne, I like how you’ve mixed the transient leaves (green and red) and that solid dark trunk. As presented, I find the tree trunk dominating the view with it’s permanance, darkness and immobility, which may be what you wanted… I suggest some dodging of the lighter tones in the tree (but not the blacks) as a way to blend the three main elements.
Thanks everyone! I added a revision above, but I’m not sure it’s a lot better with respect to my initial intention. I had hoped to show the transient moment of light via the rim lighting, but that’s a mixed message with the solidity of the health fir. But…onward. I have other stuff to share from the garden and from Yosemite. Thanks for helping me think through this one and especially, seeing how various elements in the scene have their own meaning (fir = big and lasting, maple leaves = falling soon, and light = eye-catching and perhaps a distraction). That’s all good information for me.
