Rework
Critique Style Requested: Initial Reaction
Please share your immediate response to the image before reading the photographer’s intent (obscured text below) or other comments. The photographer seeks a genuinely unbiased first impression.
Questions to guide your feedback
Unexpected?
Other Information
Please leave your feedback before viewing the blurred information below, once you have replied, click to reveal the text and see if your assessment aligns with the photographer. Remember, this if for their benefit to learn what your unbiased reaction is.
Image Description
The Creator must have been distracted momentarily to produce this doodle in an otherwise highly structured field of stratified bentonite mounds in Badlands National Park.
Technical Details
Canon EOS 5D IV; Canon EF 16-35mm @ 24mm; f/8 @ 1/100 sec, ISO 250; Gitzo tripod, RRS BH 55; remote trigger
Specific Feedback
Whatever you think, positive or otherwise.
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Hi Bob, my ‘immediate response’ is that I love the doodle pattern of the lighter mud in the foreground, but that the background has to go! Pardon the strong remark, but my eye is pulled to that lit area like a moth to a flame, it’s just too different and the magic/beauty all lies in the textures and lines without that lit up area. if you just cropped out that part, that doodle really pops and holds our attention. Great place, though - lots of discoveries to be had in stuff like this!
Thank you @brenda_tharp for your assessment. I have cropped the original and posted the reworked image.
Bob, what a cool location! The doodle looks like a ram to me. The main foreground element along with the bands of whitish rock formed these cool sweeping lines. These are echoed by the bands of sandstone in the background hill. Together they allow my eye to travel around the frame. I think removing the brighter hills in the back works better. The story of the image is more concise by doing this.
Somebody beat me to it, Bob. I like the rework a lot. As an abstract, if you have the pixels, you might even crop it tighter to eliminate the grayer element on the top and the far ridge completely, though I do like the interesting changes of texture and line from one to the other.
Thank you @Alfredo_Mora for your comments.
Thank you @Dennis_Plank for you comments. I feel additional cropping will remove all sense of place. That may be perfect for some descriptions of an abstract, but I am not looking at it from that perspective.
It does work much better cropped, Bob. And that got me thinking about whether a bit of warming up the hues might also help. The blue helps the grey parts, but maybe not the orange/red parts; perhaps a small adjustment might bring those out without losing that blue in the grey. Just a further thought!
Thank you @brenda_tharp for you comment. Blue skies can do that so I will see if I can subdue it.
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