REWORK
ORIGINAL
I have a few questions around which I’d appreciate some feedback on this image. First, as always, is it a picture that you care about, does it stir your imagination? But, on a more technical note: 1. I have deliberately pulled back on the saturation to give it a somewhat more illustrative and contemplative feel. Does it work or does it just feel “washed out” to you? 2. While I have been conscious of the darker gaps in the foliage in the background and have removed the few that were at or near the edges of the frame, and while I have also softened and lightened those that remain, do you find the darker spots in the background foliage distracting or just a natural part of the scene? 3. I did my best to pull the triad of prominent trees forward (well, there’s really four but they do, I think, form a triad) to give the image some vertical stability against the horizontality of the lighter rock. Do the trees hold their own both in their relationship to the background foliage and against the strong horizontal rock face? Any other comments or critique would be much appreciated.
Nice scene, Kerry. I like it a lot. The saturation is appropriately understated and fine. The darker gaps don’t much bother me at all. I think your triad of trees are nicely but subtly pulled out. What really seals it for me is the tree trunk reflections. That brings the whole scene together. I could do without the small tree at the far left, but I don’t know how you’d get rid of it…
Well done.
In my opinion the vertical trees do work well with the horizontal layers - but not the center one. My theory is that this is essentially a horizontally composed image and the center vertical clashes with it. Because the other trees are harmonious with the layers.
My initial take that the image feels phlegmatic. I’m not sure it that is correct though. Again, I have to put myself into your canoe and decide what attracted you about this scene. The idea is tranquility as I see it. I think a small color boost of the oranges would be worth trying. There is also some great color in the water that could be enhanced.
Overall I feel this image records what’s there more than it shows how you felt about it.
This does resonate with me. It feels like the scene of an altar, with that central tree the priest(ess). With that idea in mind, I took the liberty of fiddling with the relative brightness of the main tree vs. the rest of the background, bringing up the tree area, and bring down the background, subtly, I hope.
In answer to your questions:
- Doesn’t feel washed out to me. I enjoy subtlety.
- The smaller dark spots in the background don’t bother me at all. That one larger dark area near the left edge of the frame just above the rocks does catch my eye, though. If this were mine, I’d dodge that area so it doesn’t compete with the centrality of the “altar”.
- The trees, especially that center one, do hold their own.
This works for me Kerry. Not washed out for me because in context, it works so well here. Reducing the saturation makes it more about the subjects rather than simply color and I feel like if you added back the saturation you’d potentially lose the sacred feeling I get with this. I think sacred is the right word. It feels like an important meeting place and that central tree is an important figure head. I also like Bonnie’s rework to dodge some of the blacks on the central left side of the image so they don’t grab the eye so much and also, maybe even more important, to make that central tree stand out even more prominently than it does in your original. It’s almost like there is a meeting of the living (on shore) and the dead (those in the reflection in the water), almost like a burial site at the edge of the water. I like this a lot Kerry. I think your title really adds to this as it’s suggestive to the viewer.
@David_Bostock : Thanks for your feedback, David, appreciated as always.
@Igor_Doncov : Thanks, as always for your considered feedback. That being said, if that central tree hadn’t been there, I never would have bothered taking this picture. For me that central tree is the star and essence of the photograph. I would also question your assessment that this is a horizontally composed picture. I would say that it is a cross, which is a powerful archetypal icon that speaks to dialectic tension (simultaneously: above/below, masculine/feminine, inner/outer) and to me, the thematic heart of the image. But again, I thank you for your comments, because whether I agree or not, they always force me to be clearer on what I’m trying to do and why I have created the image in the first place. Sometimes it’s vague because I’m vague but I don’t think that’s the case here.
@Bonnie_Lampley , @David_Haynes - thank you both so much. Clearly you get what I’m trying to do with this image and that is so gratifying. Bonnie, I found it difficult to see the difference between your rework and the original and wish they had been clickably side by side. But your description of what you were trying to do made perfect sense I have posted a rework (scroll up) that tries to address those issues. What do you think?
David, I admit I played with the colour - luminosity and saturation - but kept coming back to the same thing . I think you nailed it when you say it is more about the subjects than the colour and, yes, adding more colour did seem to lose the “sacred” feeling. I love your take - a meeting of the living and the dead - the upper and lower worlds. I have posted a rework in which I tried to incorporate Bonnie’s recommendations. Does it give more intention to the central tree?
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