What changed: I added more to the left edge, blurred the echoes a bit, cropped a little off the top, and darkened and toned down the leaf on the lower left.
Added after receiving feedback from the community.
The photographer is looking for deeper feedback connected to their intent, creative direction, and specific questions.
Feedback Focus: Artistic / Expressive
About This Image
We bought a small sunflower plant that we had on our back deck. One morning before work, I played around with one of the flowers as the sun came through the trees. I did a few single images, but then moved over to multiple exposures. Here I did a multi-frame Orton effect with three exposures. On each of the exposures I moved the focus to different parts of the leaves and flower. It created this cool effect on the highlights on the bokeh that looks like the flower is blowing a kiss.
Where Feedback Would Help Most
The first image here is the full frame. At first I liked the bright area at the top, but when I cropped it, it did bring out the kiss a little more. And are the leaves on the left and right too close to the edges? Could the overall image use a little breathing space, or does it help focus on the kiss? Thanks.
Technical Details
Image 1
Camera: Canon EOS R
Focal length: 85mm
Shutter speed: 1/99s
Aperture: f/2.3
ISO: 400
Cropped the bright area from the top
Camera: Canon EOS R
Focal length: 85mm
Shutter speed: 1/99s
Aperture: f/2.3
ISO: 400
I prefer your top-cropped shot. And I also think that the L and R leaves being close to the edge has the effect you suggest. I might clone out the lower leaf in the LRC (not changing the aspect ratio). Then the flow from base to kiss would be less encumbered to my eyes. I love your ideas here, especially the shimmer, not just of the kiss, but across the upper two-thirds. Excellent!.
This is very cool. Kudos on first recognizing the potential of the sunflower and then using the multiple exposure to create this excellent impression.
Initially, I thought the “kisses” were a bit of a distraction and didn’t belong. But then your backstory helped and I can see clearly the relation between the sunflower and the sun’s “kiss.”
I’m enjoying the softness throughout. I’m torn with the taller or cropped version. In the uncropped, the large bokeh at top gives a good impression of the source of light, the sun. The cropped version works, but the original helps tell the story a bit better.
I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty to make a couple tweaks. First, I agree the leaf on the left is pretty tight to the edge, so I increased the canvas and stretched for some extra space. Next, I think what initially bothered me about the “kisses” was their brightness. Also, the lines were sharper than the rest of the image. So, I selectively burned, and also selectively blurred them to better fit with the rest of the image. I don’t know if this is an improvement, but thought I would try. Hope you don’t mind.
Very artistic and painterly treatment - there are so many ways to take this image so you have some interesting choices ahead depending on how you change the emphasis of the different components of the scene.
From my personal perspective I love the light and the painterly feel so I like the way it cascades down from the brighter area it the top and the rim light behind the green flower head and leaves below.
I also like the structural darker “brushstrokes” in the yellows and flower head so these come through better if slightly darkened. For me the Kiss is mainly about echos so I don’t mind them indistinct - playing more to the echo narrative.
The off centre flower bending its head to the balancing echos works really well so I think both of your crops and Lon’s work fine for me. It would also work with a bit more visible on the right, as I suspect the cut off lower leaf might upset some (but not particularly me).
The gradient from the bright top and gradual darkening down the picture is important, as is keeping a suggestion of the rim light in the lower level to keep it consistent throughout the frame.
My personal favourite (as if that mattered) is the second one. I think the light is bright enough and a bit more subtle - I don’t need to be shown the brighter top area as I know it’s there. This crop focuses more on the flower and kiss as its bigger in the frame, and I like Lon’s burning and blurring tweaks which let your “echo” narrative come across.
Lovely creation
Regards
huw
Ps it is so much easier to offer a critique when you explain your vision as clearly as you have done, much better than a one line “what do you think”?. I hope my comments are helpful in your decisions going forward.
Patrick: Thoroughly cool, to the point where I wish my camera could do the multiple exposure thing. Wonderful creative concept and even better execution and presentation. >=))>
This is a very interesting approach, Patrick. I like the original idea, and I’m really liking Lon’s modified version as the “kisses” seemed a bit odd to me until they were subdued a bit. Looking at it without explanation, I’d though it was a butterfly moving away rather than the plant itself. I also think the image of the plant with the kisses removed would make a fine image, though of course it would tell a different story.
Thanks @Don_Peters, @Bill_Fach, @Dennis_Plank . All the ideas were what I needed to see what was working and what needed help. I mostly followed @Lon_Overacker posted – thank you very much. With the added left side, it gives the flower and the kiss a little room. @Mike_Friel I thought cloning would be too much work, I hope the toning down of the leaf in the LRC is enough. @Huw_Thomas sometimes I just want to post “what do you think?” But I knew on this one I wanted specific ideas tested. And you all came through. And I very much enjoy seeing what you have to say on the other images on NPN.
