REWORK:
ORIGINAL:
This was taken late morning at a local pond, on a bike ride with friends. There was a gentle breeze that made the soft ripples, and puffy clouds in the sky. Hence, the interesting blue-white color banding in the ripples. I don’t know what it says about my psyche that I framed it up with that piercing reed. I did want some sort of focal point, not just an abstract frame.
What technical feedback would you like if any? What artistic feedback would you like if any?
Any critique welcome. I struggled with the contrast and saturation. It feels like it should have more of both, but increasing either starts to feel overdone to me.
Pertinent technical details or techniques:
Single frame, d5600, 55-300@300mm, f/16, 1/500s, ISO500, hand held.
2 Likes
Bonnie,
Love this. Quite a bit of abstract - and just a schtick of reality. Great vision and choice.
I don’t know what the RAW reveals, but certainly you have a bit of color/saturation latitude. I could see even more blue - but then that not might have been the moment of reality.
As presented, this works beautifully - kudos!
Lon
This turned out great, Bonnie. Excellent abstract, simple and elegant. No suggestions here, just enjoying it a lot.
Just wonderful Bonnie, I the juxtaposition of the sharp stick against the abstract ripples on the surface of the pond. I like the way you kept the darker ripples along the frame edge to the left, it’s a very effective way to call attention to them. Another nice small touch is the ripple sin the reflection of the stick. I agree with @Lon_Overacker, I think you could increase the blue saturation here without really changing the mood of the image.
This is superb, Bonnie. IMHO, the reed is a great addition, but I would still love it even without it. The reed does stabilize the image and gives the eye a place to rest. The abstract nature is fantastic with great shapes, colors, and movement. Excellent work! No nits at all.
I think the “needle” is a great plus in the image, Bonnie. In a way, it balances the busier pattern on the left hand side and the relatively quieter right hand side. I think this is gorgeous.
Thank you, @Lon_Overacker, @Harley_Goldman, @Ed_McGuirk, @Bill_Chambers, and @Adhika_Lie for your thoughts. After cogitating on this for awhile, I considered some burning/dodging to bring a bit more contrast to the background in the middle and right parts of the frame, to balance bringing back the deep blue ripples on the left. But I didn’t want too much contrast in the soft ripples. Tried a rework with that in mind.
I like the rework a lot, Bonnie. Didn’t think you could improve it, but you did. Bravo.
1 Like
Strictly a matter of personal taste, but I prefer the original. I find it more ethereal and dreamy.
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I like the rework Bonnie, it gives it a bit more vitality.
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I’m curious what a vertical of the right half would look like. I find the dark areas on the left side of the frame disturbing as my eyes go from them to the twig and back again. Or perhaps just raise their tone value.
The other observation, which nothing can be done about, is that I would prefer the twig to be as wavy as it’s reflection. Having a straight line among all those curves feel dissonant somehow.
That is why I desaturated and lightened those areas in the original. Just thought I’d throw out the different version to see what folks thought.
I’m glad you see that, as it was part of the story - the sharp, ominous object piercing the gentle, cool ripples. I wanted it to be a bit disturbing.
I prefer the original lighter version.
