2nd Revision:
Revised:
Original:
Critique Style Requested: Standard
The photographer is looking for generalized feedback about the aesthetic and technical qualities of their image.
Description
Another ICM from my backpacking trip with @John_Williams and @James_Lorentson. This was taken while hiking in the fog through the burn area on the Pacific Crest Trail, heading back to the car. The trail from the car to the camp site was close to 7 miles, and at least 2/3 of it was in a burn area. To me, it isn’t easy finding a decent comp in a burn area, but I thought an ICM might work.
Technical Details
D850, f22, 24-70 @ 68mm, 1/10 sec, ISO 64, handheld
I like the composition, Steve, it’s a beautiful abstract with the smooth lines, yet a bit of texture. The subdued tonality caused by the fog, takes away from the burn feel, while still conveying a somewhat forlorn feeling. A small nit: it looks like you have a dust bunny about 2/3 of the way up and just left of the darker darker trunk on the right side of the center gap.
@Dennis_Plank, thanks for pointing out the dust bunnies. I clearly forgot to check for these. It’s usually the first thing I do.
Steve, this is great subject for ICM. I like the depth in your image, the light, and the framing. That’s quite a hike to reach the camp site. Sad to read the 2/3 of it was in a burn area.
If you wanted to convey the “after the burn” feeling, you could try to burn some of the trees in the foreground more. This will help increase depth too.
Steve,
Excellent ICM! I think the motion is just right and the fog really, really helps create a sense of mystery.
A bit like Dennis, I don’t get the strong sense of a burn area, although it’s not hard to pick up on it either. I think if the scarred, burned areas of the trunk were more black than brown, perhaps that would help with that - but then again the motion and fog helped dampen the contrast and harshness of the place.
The only suggestion I have would be a slight crop off the bottom. The two semi-triangular areas pull the eye just a bit. And I don’t think cropping takes away from the overall impression or mood.
Well done on the ICM!
Lon
@Lon_Overacker, thanks for the comments and suggestions! I added a new version based on your suggestions, as well as suggestions from @Alfredo_Mora and @Dennis_Plank. I hope this looks better.
Works very nicely for me - Thanks for considering the feedback and taking the time to rework! Feels even more intimate now (not that this was goal of yours…) 
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Glad you posted this one Steve; I really liked it when you took it, and it’s intriguing to see in a larger version.
Since ICM is abstract by definition, I don’t think trying to make it look more like a burned area necessarily improves it. (Taking a non-ICM image would have been the way to go there?) Because of that , I find your original tones more pleasing; the darker areas in the rework snag my eye and break the flow of the image. In fact, you could probably even lighten them a tad from the original. I do like the crop.
Thanks @John_Williams ! I also like the tones in the original better, but I like the crop in the revised. For my own purposes, I’ll go back to the original and add the crop.
I really enjoy experimenting using the suggestions people give. Most of the time I like the results better and sometimes not, but it’s fun trying to “see through others’ eyes”
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